oh noo .. ;( ♥

riqht now i`m just really not positiveee about anythinq ..

i`m just so upset ..

i miss him so much .

riqht now it just hit me like a truckk ..

he`s .. he`s not cominq back ..

& it hurts , a lot .

it`s been almost a year .

and it just makes me cry .

like , i need to write out how i feel .

i think it`ll make me feel better ,

but it doesn`t .

i don`t know what i`m doinq riqht now , honestly , i don`t even know why i`m here . but i can only wish that i could be HALF the person , the amazinqly talented , qreat person that michael was .

this sounds really stupid riqht now , but i`d qive up anythinq just for mike to come back . even if he never knew me , nothinq , just for his children to have their dad back , that would mean the world to me .

it`s not their fault . it really isn`t . and the stuff that their left to deal with after their father`s passinq is not riqht . realizinq this makes me cry .

i wanted him to come back so bad , i`ve studied for a year now the possible ways michael could be alive . but he`s not . i need to realize that he`s qone .

but it`s just so hard to let qo to what i`ve become so attached to .

in a year , i`ve learned every michael jackson sonq there is , i`ve learned how to moonwalk , i`ve learned every "hee hee" , "shamone , shamone" , and crotch qrab there is , and most importantly , i`ve learned what a qreat person michael jackson REALLY is . what a humanitarian , what an amazinq sinqer , father , what a qivinq , lovinq , amazinq , misunderstood , hilarious , adorable , lonely , person he was .

it still hurts . i`m thinkinq of ways to try and make it hurt a little less , ways to make me not think about it . like it never even happened .

but it does hurt and it did happen .

and i can`t let qo to somethinq i`ve qrown SO attached to .

i`ve qrown to love someone i`ve never even met .

it`s never qoinq to qo away , my love for michael . my love for his children , his brothers , his sisters , his entire family .

i never even thouqht of anyone from the jackson family . actually , i didn`t even realize there were other members of the jackson family OTHER than michael and janet . but now i know who they all are , i know their birth order , i know their birth dates , i know their full names . yeah , i know the jackon`s like a reliqion .

but once i qet into somethinq , i qo all the way .

since june 25th is cominq up , i`m not quite sure how i`m qoinq to handle it yet ..

it`ll be all over tv , all over the radio , everyone at school will be talkinq about it , makinq fun of me .

i don`t know what i`m qoinq to do at school . i`m qoinq to cry . all day .

i miss him so much . i feel worse than the day i found out he passed .

i watch youtube videos of him all day , i have all the movies , all the books , watch all the shows , you name it , i know it .

and it`s probably a tad obsessive , but hey , if that`s how i am , that`s how i am .

i love michael jackson , and no one will ever chanqe that .

he`s my idol , he`s my world , he`s my everythinq .

i can only pray that he`s in a better place and he`s safe from all the news and filthy tabloid trash . he went throuqh horrible thinqs when he was here on earth with us , no human beinq , ESPECIALLY michael jackson , with all the work with children , humanitarianism , and everythinq he did for the world .

yeah , qo ahead , call him "wacko jacko" , "pedo" , "monkey lover" , whatever you want . that`s never qoinq to chanqe my mind about who he was . an amazinq , lovinq , blessed , talented , father who wanted the world for his children and would qive anythinq for anyone .

be respectful when you`re speakinq about him .

thank you for everythinq you`ve ever done for the world , for the children , for your children .

we love you michael , the world loves you , we appreciate you , we respect you .

michael , i love you from the bottom of my heart ♥

rest in peace michael joseph jackson

1958-2009 ♥

forever younq . <33

Conrad, p-lease. Or waiit , i don't want to be polite..

Conrad Murray, jail for four years, WHY EE ESS!
dhaa's right. maaybe jail for fouur years for misteer conrad KILLER murray!
let's hope and pray that someone finally takes action.

for the meantime conrad's not allowed to give ANYONE heavy sedatives.
thank the Lord.

i have no patience for people like conrad murray, he makes me quite angry.

like angry as in i want to print out a picture of him and hang it on my wall to throw darts at, angry.

yes, it's like that.

my gosh, there's never any new news about conrad murray.

other than he's BACK TO WORK already.

wow . that's good . it's always good to have a killing doctor working with clients, isn't it ?

i wish i could figure out why they don't just arrest him . they need to figure out how NON accidental it all was . he did it on purpose , he's a doctor , he knows the risk of all these things . why would he leave the room when michael's sitting there all alone , pretttty much dead to the world . realllllly ? wow .

my goodness .

thaat's all for noow , :l

remember , it's all for love , l o v e . :]

rest in l o v e + p e a c e m[jj]♥

Dear LAPD, put Conrad Murray behind bars, for LIFE!

Hey !

Conrad Murray turned himself in to the LAPD on Friday . :)

YES !

He is now getting charged with involuntary manslaughter and could face four years behind bars for killing the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

All of Michael's fans have been waiting for this for a REALLY long time. Since June 25th actually. It's been a long eight months waiting, now we don't have to worry about him "practicing" with his medical license anymore.

Michael's parents, Katherine and Joseph, and siblings Tito, LaToya and Jermaine attended the court hearing for Conrad Murray.

Lots of fans were at the trial holding banners reading "Justice For Michael!" and booing Conrad.



TIMELINE, MICHAEL'S FINAL DAYS
June 22nd, 2009-Dr. Conrad Murray gives Michael 25 milligrams of propofol along with lorazepam and midazolam. Michael is better able to sleep with these drugs in his system.

June 23rd, 2009-Dr. Murray gives Michael the same drug cocktail as the day before, except no propofol, telling authorities that he was "weaning him off of it."

June 25th, 2009-About 1:30 am Dr. Murray again tries to get Michael to sleep without propofol, but gives him a 10 milligram tablet of Valium, but Michael still can't sleep.

Around 2 am-Dr. Murray injects Michael with milligrams of lorazepam into his IV, but Michael is still awake.

Around 3 am-Dr. Murray injects the IV with two milligrams of medazolam, but Michael's still not sleeping.

Around 5 am-Dr. Murray gives Michael another two milligrams of lorazepam, but Michael is STILL awake.

Around 7 30 am-Dr. Murray gives Michael another two milligrams of medazolam. Dr. Murray claims he was at Michael's bedside the whole time monitoring him with a pulse oximeter and measuring his pulse and oxygen statistics. But Michael remains awake.

Around 10 40 am-Dr. Murray administers Michael with 25 milligrams of propofol after repeated demands for the drug from Michael. Michael finally falls asleep and Dr. Murray is still monitoring him.

10 minutes later-Dr. Murray leaves to use the washroom and is back two minutes later to find Michael not breathing. Dr. Murray attempts CPR and gives Michael 0.2 milligrams of flumazenil, an antidote for certain overdoses. Then Dr. Murray calls Michael's assistant, Michael Amir Williams, and tells him to send security upstairs for an emergency.
Murray keeps doing CPR before the security arrives.

At 12 21 pm-One of Michael's staff members, Alberto Alvarez calls 9 11. Shortly after the call, the ambulance arrives and Dr. Murray continues doing CPR and accompanies Michael to the hospital.


WHY ?!
Why did Dr. Murray wait SO long before calling an ambulance. He waited about an hour and a half to call the paramedics, while he was on the phone with other people?
In the time between when Michael stopped breathing and the time the ambulance was called, Conrad Murray made three calls totaling 47 minutes. None of those calls, however, were to 911.
One of the people he called was Arnold Klein, Michael's friend and anesthesiologist.
One of the calls was to his office in Houston.

Why did he call them before 911?

Did he need to cover something up?

That's what it seems.

Medical License?

Conrad Murray had his medical license to practice in Texas, NOT California.

Therefore Conrad could not legally prescribe any medicine to Michael IN California. So why was he injecting Michael with all sorts of different prescription drugs which Michael should NOT have been taking.


Plus, propofol and all the other drugs Dr. Murray [I shouldn't call him a doctor anymore :)] administered to Michael, should ONLY be used in a HOSPITAL setting. Hear that Dr. Murray? He shouldn't have been doing what he was anyways. It doesn't matter if he killed Michael [which I KNOW he did] but he was at Michael's HOME, not in a HOSPITAL.

I find HOSPITAL and HOME very different words. Conrad should [I'm not actually sure if he did] get his medical license taken away, FOR GOOD!

It doesn't matter HOW good of a doctor he was,
he did things he SHOULD NOT have.


WAIIIIT !

He's a doctor, right? He SHOULD know how to do CPR, right? And he should know where it's appropriate to do CPR. Which is on a hard flat surface. Conrad Murray did CPR on Michael's bed. Unless Michael's bed is a table, I don't think that was the smartest idea, Conrad.


He should've been smarter. I don't know WHAT he was thinking, maybe he was thinking like a killer. Maybe he was thinking he needed to cover it up.

But it really doesn't matter WHAT he was thinking at the time, because he's paying for it now. This is what he deserves, for killing Michael.


JUSTICE FOR MICHAEL !


we love you more, Michael.


r i p Michael Joseph Jackson

August 29, 1958-June 25, 2009


missed and loved by the world, we're sorry about everything Michael.


Conrad Murray behind bars? check. :)